Just Me and my Action Figures
by Glitnir-Gebo
Summary: Each story is a oneoff, unless otherwise noted. They are not meant to be taken seriously, and are most humourous if you imagine the KFC Eragon toys. That is, in fact, what these stores are based on, hence the title ‘Just Me and my Action Figures’.


Author's Notes: Each story in this collection is a one-off, unless otherwise noted. They are not meant to be taken seriously, and are most humourous if you imagine the KFC Eragon toys. That is, in fact, what these stores are based on, hence the title 'Just Me and my Action Figures'. Little kids often make their toys talk and fight each other. To create these stories I did the same. Some are appropriated from bits of other Eragon fanfics, which I haven't yet posted.

Disclaimer: I don't own Eragon or any parodied references.

Warning: May contain spoilers!

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**Adventure 1: 'Eragon Wars**' 

By Glitnir Gebo

Galbatorix and Eragon stood on the cliff face, prepared to do battle. The sun was beginning to set, and in the distance the sound of Shruikan and Saphira already engaged in battle could be heard over the sounds of the forest below.

Brom's voice echoed in Eragon's head. 'Use the force, Eragon.' Brom had said on his deathbed. Eragon was filled with rage at the thought of his companion's death, but the rage faded and he managed to keep a level head. 'But I'm just a boy who never knew his parents!' he had protested in reply. Brom had then proceeded to school him in the ways of the force as they traveled throughout the land of Alagaesia.

Now, more then ever before, Eragon wished that his teacher, and friend, were with him.

"You dare to think a poor orphaned farm-boy like you could defeat someone as powerful as me? You're living in a fantasy world!" Galbatorix snarled, pointing his sword at Eragon.

Eragon was unfazed. "I may not have known my parents, but growing up on that farm made me who I am. If I had parents I could have ended up being a sad, lonely man like you, who thirsts for nothing but power." He pointed his sword back at Galbatorix.

"Hahahaha!" the King laughed, not dropping his guard. "I _am_ your father!"

Eragon scoffed at his enemy's ridiculous announcement. "That line is old. And _very_ overused. Prepare to die!"

Galbatorix glared at the boy. "It is not I who will die." He raised his sword to the sky in an image on menace, and screamed a war cry. "Arrrrghhh!"

"Arrrrghhh!" Eragon replied, similarly raising Zar'roc.

"Arrrrghhh!"

"Arrrrghhh!"

"Arrrrghhh!"

"Arrrrghhh!"

"Arrrrghhh!"

"Arrrrghhh!"

The two stood and stared at each other in silence, neither willing to make the first move. The sun set and still neither moved. Finally, Galbarotix sighed. "This is going nowhere." He lowered his sword and rubbed his sore arm. "I propose a truce."

Eragon maintained his stance, unwilling to be tricked. Galbatorix stepped forward and held out his hand. Tempted by the sign of goodwill Eragon began to lower Zar'roc. Just in time he noticed Galbatorix's smirk and realized the trick. He continued to lower his sword, but instead of sheathing it, he swirled it in a large arc at Galbatorix. Galbatorix only just managed to jump back in time to keep his head. He did not, however, manage to escape injury. His chest was left with a gaping wound and he was now delicately balanced on the edge of the cliff.

Eragon stepped forward and pushed Galbatorix with one finger. The King, unable to defend himself whilst in such a position, lost his balance and began to fall. As he fell he raised his arm to Eragon, still with sword in hand, with such force that his sword stuck and severed the boy's arm from the elbow down. His final laugh rang out across the forest as he fell to his death. Eragon clutched what remained of his arm.

_Eragon!_ Saphira called a moment later. _Shruikan just died, what happened?_

_I...I won. Galbatorix is dead._ Eragon replied, feeling the world go black. _But I'm injured, Saphira..._

_Hold on, my rider. I'm on my way._

_I'm losing too much blood..._

_Just hold on!_

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Author's Notes: The end!

**Please R&R…**


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